Relationship expert Dr. Corizon joins Chris Richlife to talk about ways you can use Valentine’s Day to make your employees do whatever you want!
This Week’s Success Quote:
How to Use Valentine’s Day to Manipulate Your Employees!
Valentine’s Day is the most vulnerable time of the year for your employees. It’s when your employees are either reminded of their singleness, or reminded of the instability of their current relationship.
1. Track all the single people in your company.
If they’re female or gay, start flirting with them. They’ll be attracted to your wealth and power over them. Especially if they’ve just seen 50 Shades of Grey.
Once you start dating them, make them promise to keep the relationship “your little secret” and you can begin leveraging your new relationship to make them work harder, using emotional manipulation:
2. Track all the non-single people in your company and categorize them by the stability of their current relationship.
• If their current relationship is unstable, use the same approach you use with the single people: The excitement and danger of doing something so sneaky will make them like putty in your hands.
• If they have a stable relationship, Write a “dear john” letter or Draw up divorce papers, and then, again,start flirting with them.
3. What about the straight men and lesbians?
For the straight men in your company, tell them you’ll give them a voucher for a romantic night out with their lady (or an escort, if they’re single) so they can be the TRUE hero of Valentine’s Day… IF they work really hard and exceed their quotas.
After the work is completed, tell them the accounting somehow lost the approval for the vouchers. And say something like, “With unexpected cuts like this, who KNOWs what else could get cut. Or who else.”
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